well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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