He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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