i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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