well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize