I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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