Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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