Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Rumble strips road head = magical
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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