Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Found your dick twin last night
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
