best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize