Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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