so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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