Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
