I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
