did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
