Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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