i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
