Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
