you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
