Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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