i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
