you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
