You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
