Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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