Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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