I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
