never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
