that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
