You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's never too late to be topless.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
