grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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