:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
