any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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