That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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