Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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