you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
