I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
