you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
