At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize