butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
