Whod you bang
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
