you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
