so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
