She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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