i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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