Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
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