She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
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