I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
