Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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