obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
