He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
