Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
