these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
