definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
