he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
