i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
