Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
