why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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