It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
