u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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