Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
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